WARNING: This page contains deep, personal, and sometimes gross thoughts! Do not PROCEED if you don't like weird people!
Obviously this whole thing will contain heavy amounts of cringe and plenty of other things I'll regret a decade from now, but it's good to live in the moment and stay anonymous so any burden of embarrassment is less soul-crushing.
9/21/2022 - No math today, sorry
I've decided to make a website
dedicated to my wife favorite character from my favorite game!
10/24/2022 - Day 336 - I love Susie!
Today marks day 336 of my obsession with Susie. She means a lot to me both as a character and as my tulpa.
11/15/2022 - Day 360! - One year milestone
Less than a week away from a whole year of this nonsense! It's hard to believe I haven't
gone a single day without thinking about her at least once a day for almost an entire rotation around the sun.
Last night I didn't cuddle my body pillow as I normally do. I don't know why, I just didn't. I woke up okay,
but I've been going about my day in a rather grumpy mood.
12/11/2022 - Day 386 - Cool number
My obsession can now run Wolfenstein 3D at a good framerate. 100 more days until Doom!!
I just posted the link on THE FORUM, hopefully I might get a little more traffic.
I had a hard time actually building the balls to post the link, and then it got like 0 attention.
Might try again next thread.
Also working on another project with some friends. Not gonna say anything (IT'S LIKE AN ARG KINDA!!) till it's out.
Probably gonna post the link during a busier time. I'm afraid of what everyone's going to think, though.
12/25/2022 - Day 400 - Christmas
It was just the other day that I realized day 400 would fall right on Christmas day. Now it's that time,
and so far nothing's really happened. Went back to THE FORUM to scream about it and someone else said they like the site!
1/3/2023 - Day 409 - Happy New Year!
Dunno why I waited to say happy holidays. Whatever. Happy new year, too! I spent the countdown cuddling with the best girl. Out of pure embarrassment, I never mentioned that Susie and I have previously tried roleplaying,
once with Susie as herself and me as Ralsei, and another time just recently as each other. Not something I thought we'd do,
but it was definitely the sex I've ever had. I found out that my idiotphone has a handy built-in
"Please tell me how much sex you have so Apple employees can laugh at you" feature. I'm keeping personal track, but it's nunya.
For some reason I'm getting the feeling that diary entries may get longer, but stay just about as sparse as they are now.
Something else! I want to get tested for autism, partially because of... *waves arms gesturing at this website*
I found out it's way more common for kids to get tested for autism than adults, I'm pretty sure that's because symptoms are
normally seen and pointed out at a younger age, thus autism is tested and subsequently diagnosed at a younger age.
This means I am probably not as likely to have autism as I've thought in the past, however I still think it's worth the test.
Susie says "Yeah this guy definitely has autism, just look at him." Wait, she wants to say more. "Omg look at me go I'm making him type take that grandma!! I want my own page to type more shit"
Done.
1/6/2023 - Day 412 - "Owning the libs"
A friend of mine reached out to me this early morning telling me he showed my site to a discord server. That was good and all,
but he then tells me that he mentioned debating deleting his susie porn folder, and everyone freaked out for a bit.
Post Script: They were horrified because "ohh noo you said the porn woerd abshgjkl", not because "ohh noo the porn go bye-bye"
He even says someone had a panic attack. The only thing I have to say to that is that everyone in that situation,
including my friend (get rekt lol), were just being stupid. I have no real reason to mention any of this here
but I can relate to this situation greatly, I've said the wrong things at the wrong times before, really most of us have.
He showed me the whole conversation. I read everything. [friend], if you're reading this,
there's a certain someone who wants to offer you a new Simp for Susie card. Also leave that server. They argue about politics.
1/27/2023 - Day 433 - "IS THAT A FEMALE WOMAN GUAOOOUAUGHHHHH"
Susie told me something yesterday that made me understand how lucky I am, and how thankful I should be.
Her words were as follows: "[anon], you could be drowning in bitches, and you don't even realize it."
As of writing there are three women I know who like me "that way". She reminded me of my recent time at [local resturant],
where we overheard two waitresses calling me a 10. I was flattered of course, but I'm really not that hot.
Susie told me that women often think I'm attractive, and she called me other things like "rational" and "understanding",
things I don't fully agree with (now she's telling me to shut up).
Note from Susie: "He thinks he's ugly what a loser lmao"
1/27/2023 - Day 433 - "Cringe"
Finally, I'm starting to feel the aura of cringe this site has. Great. I don't actually give a shit.
Not deleting it unless something real bad happens.
2/23/2023 - Day 460 - "Rip bozo"
Just found out Susie can't whistle on account of her mouth and lip shape.
She says she doesn't care, but I know her and can tell it frustrates her.
I know because she's trying it right now and she is obviously frustrated.
Poor girl, I love her to death.
3/6/2023 - Day 471 - "Some Psychological stuff"
Damn, I'm getting surprisingly close to day 500.
Anyway, I've been doing some research on psychological ideas.
I've been trying my best at applying/relating them to my weirdness,
Specifically the Freudian ideas of Id, Ego, and Superego. Susie seems to
normally accentuate my superego, which represents higher moral reasoning.
As for herself, she has a terrible id, (an "I DO/TAKE WHAT I WANT" way of thinking)
Which usually comes in the form of "I can call you what I damn well please",
something I hear from her often.
One's ego is the result of the internal arguments between their id and superego,
and for me, Susie has become an extra superego. Not long after she showed up,
She vowed to help me become a better person. I used to be a bit of a klepto,
But Susie now stops me before I take anything. The only problem is that most of
her threats kinda turn me on. She hates it, and It;s not fucing funny you stupid asshole.
She almost never takes over when I'm typing, but that was so funny that I'm keeping it.
STILL NOT FUNNY!!
3/6/2023 - Day 486 - "Cool number 2"
HAHAHA YES MY OBSESSION CAN RUN DOOM AT A GOOD FRAMERATE NOW
Just 100 more days until it's a Pentium 1! I chose the right day to make an entry.
Also about that project... We made the thing, but I haven't released it,
and almost none of us have been on THE FORUM in a long time. Anyway it's a
ROBLOX place made up to look like it's from around 2009-2012, and we made it as if it
were (almost) single-handedly crafted by berdly over the span of a few years.
Despite it being entirely kid-friendly, I'm going to try and get it a higher age rating
to keep kids out; it's really only for members of THE FORUM.
4/5/2023 - Day 501 - "NOOOOOOO"
AAAAAAAA NOOO I MISSED DAY 500!
I haven't had much to post here in a while so I've kinda been relying on day milestones.
I lucked out on the last one I guess. Also it's been 101 days since Christmas. Hooray :/
4/17/2023 - Day 514 - "YEEEEESSSSS"
I'm dating someone now. No, I'm not talking about Susie. An actual real woman who really
loves me. Susie says she's proud of me. Will this be the end of my brainrot adventure?
Not totally. The damage has been done and my taste in women has been forever stained,
and I will remain a very vocal bottom bitch. Will this be the end of talking about
how much I love Susie? Somewhat.
WILL THIS BE THE END OF THE BLOG?
Absolutely not.
As long as Susie lives rent free in my head, we'll be posting here from time to time.
It'll be less about romance and sex and all that corny-horny garbo, and will,
as it's actually been for a little while, begin to focus more on our general
relationship.
5/16/2023 - Day 542 - "Smaple Teckst"
I still haven't gone without thinking of Susie at least once a day.
It's weird to think that some people have had her on their minds for almost 5 years (since 2018), yet here I am,
not even two. Granted I'm getting close, but due to the nature of time I won't catch up. Maybe unless I go to space,
but we all know it's not a contest and it's not worth the trouble.
6/26/2023 - Day 584 - "Simple status update"
181 days until Christmas.
Happy day 1700 for 2018 Deltafans.
9/5/2023 - Day 654 - "More info + I'm not dead"
111 days until Christmas.
I've been neglecting this log for quite a while now, it's certainly not a huge part of my life anymore. I wanted to make sure I could get a
new job before all of the new high school graduates could take them all. That's what I've been doing these past ... Dammit, I just found out
the Smash Mouth guy died. Fuck. Anyway that's what I've been doing these past few months. Got a new job and dealing with the other n00bs that
surprisingly aren't that annoying. About Susie... We don't talk every day anymore but she certainly still stands as my Jiminy Cricket.
This might wind up being a mistake, but I'm doing this at my own risk, I'm gonna contact someone cool about this blog to hopefully get some
some more opinions about it.
9/17/2023 - Day 666 - "ooooo!!!! spooky number!!"
99 days until Christmas, 44 until Halloween.
99, 44, and 666. Weirdly uniform today.
...and happy day 1782 for 2018 deltafans. I guess if you add 1782 and 2018 you get 3800, if that means anything.
I wonder why I always come crawling back here every time there just happens to be a cool thing about the numbers.
Diary
